Each and every one of us is responsible for our own lives. That means we are responsible for our own growth and development. Adults are not children, so we need to give them the space to grow themselves and to develop themselves personally. We can offer suggestions, we can provide a listening ear and a huge hug when they need it, but in the final analysis, that person has the final say in their life and where it’s going. We need to respect adults for the mature, capable adults they are supposed to be and not micro-manage their life. That does not make for a good boss, nor does it make for a healthy relationship with others.
Instead of trying to control others or even trying to control ourselves, we need to manage our individual lives. That means you should not hold up your individual growth and progress by waiting on others to make a decision that may or may not affect your life. You may be waiting on others to want a better life for themselves and because you are growing and moving forward you do not want to leave them behind. However, if someone doesn’t want something for themselves there is no way you can force them to want it.
I will even go as far as to say that what you may want for someone may not be what they want for themselves or they are not ready as yet to make changes in and for their life. While it is commendable to want more for others, you cannot keep your life stuck waiting for others. It is important that you do not stop your growth for anyone, therefore, it is imperative that you keep yourforward while focusing on your growth.
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Another point to take heed of is that people can and will string you along for as long as they can before you even realize what is happening. They will give you a sad story to draw you in or they will say the right words that they know will pull at your heart strings and you find yourself understanding them and waiting on them. You are now at their mercy. They can pull you and twist you up in any way till Sunday. Do not blame yourself once you realize or become aware of what is happening. Forgive yourself for getting caught up in the madness and now start to take steps to get your life going again preferably without those individuals.
Once you become aware of what is going on, you will no longer allow your life to remain stuck. People can make promises all they want, however, it is in the doing that you should put faith in, especially when it comes to your personal life. Do not tolerate nor allow anyone to run amuck in yourand leave it in disarray. If you find that your personal life is in disarray as a result of who and what was in it, then it’s time to do some internal housecleaning.
It is now time to take back your life, take back control over the ship of your life, start playing your life full out and start living the life that is best for you. Do not make the mistake of stopping your life because you feel that you should wait on others. No, keep moving your life forward and if others want to be a part of your life then they will catch a ride on your ship. If they do not want to be a part of your life, then still keep your life moving.
You have the power to stop your life-ship if you so desire, however, do not allow others to slow you down. It is one thing to stop or pause voluntarily, it is another thing when you unwittingly allow criticisms and other negative behavior to seep into your mind and cause you to stop your own progress. You are now so beaten down that you barely have the strength to get up in the mornings.
ENOUGH! Your life is not meant to be mediocre nor is it meant to be wasted being stuck in the same existence with no change. No, you are meant to live an EXTRAORDINARY life. So don’t be afraid that by you moving forward you are leaving people behind. If they are for you they will be right beside you as you move forward. If they are not for you, then you will meet other people as you move your life forward.
In order to be able to move your life forward, focusing on nourishing just your heart and soul is not enough. Your mind needs to be built up in order to become rock-solid. Having a weakened or a vulnerable mind will leave you open to external influences. It is then that the negative and harsh criticisms of others will be able to permeate your mind and twist you up from the inside out. That is what is called psychological abuse.
Once someone has control over your mind, you no longer own your life. They can twist you up in any way and in any direction that mirrors their state of mind. That is why we need to build up our mind so that nothing negative and mind-twisting can penetrate. Own your own mind, have mastery over your own mind and you will be able to direct and lead your life towards your dreams, passions, and goals. Having a weakened mind doesn’t mean you are stupid or mentally unbalanced. Far from it. Immense pain can weaken your mental state.
Experiencing serious life events and having to go it alone can cause your mind to take a massive hit. Do not feel guilty if your mind was in a weakened state. You are human and there are times when life is going to hit you hard to the point where life knocks you down clean of your axis. Use this time to rebuild your foundation. Life hit you hard for a reason. The life you were living, you have outgrown it and life needed to get your attention, to say, “Hey, you no longer belong over there. It is time to go down a different path.”
You are getting an opportunity few people get or even recognize that they are getting. You are being given a chance to start your life over from scratch. A life that you can now build according to your specifications and not those of your family, religion, culture, media or society. You can build a life that has all the support your life needs in your internal life and in your external life. Both parts of your life need to be in full alignment and giving you balanced support.
That is why you should never look so longingly at what was or what wasn’t that you miss the opportunity to appreciate what is coming into your life. If you need to take the time to heal wounds of the past, then do so. Your life needs you to be front and center in your presentation so that you can look boldly to the future. Although your past may have had great times and wonderful experiences, there was also a lot of misery, pain, loss, and disappointments. Why would you want to go back to something that caused you pain, misery, and torment? You can’t change what happened, but you can heal so that you can create a new and better today. Remember, yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn’t here as yet, but you do have today and today should be where you are living your best life.
Refrain from engaging in should-a, would-a, could-a. That is gone. Refrain from engaging in, tomorrow it will be better, next year will be better, this is the life I want to have someday. It hasn’t come yet. However, today you can live your best life, today you can attempt to do one thing that you are passionate about, today you can tell someone that you love them, that you care about them. Today is what you have. Embrace it, rejoice in it and live it to the best of your ability.