Careless Internet wandering, by adult or child, is dangerous. The news is full of stories about people who meet online and then have real life encounters with scary or deadly results. This is an extreme situation, most kids are cautious enough to know they should not meet with strangers. Nevertheless, there are other dangers such as your kids being exposed to explicit pornography, violent images or gore, extremist web pages, sexual solicitation, identify theft, malicious content or just simply distraction from what they should be doing, like homework.

Certainly, the Internet is a great resource that puts volumes of valuable knowledge at our fingertips. The Internet helps keep friends and family in touch and provides entertainment and education. Every day more information and services are going online, so web safety is a subject parent must address.

DANGERS

In order to better formulate Internet guidelines for your children, you need to know the dangers. Here are a few hazards to think about before you talk with your kids.

 

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Pornography

Pornography is easily available online, not only through paid sources but also through pop–ups, unsolicited email, file sharing and search engines. Many sites are landed on accidentally, through misspelled search words or expired domain names. If parents visit these sites, cookies, temporary Internet files or other data is saved onto the computer, which makes it even easier for kids to reach these sites. Teens and preteens may even seek out these sites out of curiosity and end up viewing explicit and sometimes degrading or violent sexual images or video.

Solicitation

Through chat, newsgroups, MySpace, forums, games or email, minors are often approached for sexual contact, nude pictures, webcam video or sexually explicit conversations. Just visit nearly any open chat conversation and you will soon be solicited or asked sexual questions. This even occurs in supposedly kid–friendly rooms.

Predation

Sexual predators may seek out possible sexual contact or exploitation through the Internet. Often they create a user profile that hides who they really are and instigate casual chat conversations to gain the kid’s trust. They gradually begin the process of isolating the child, manipulating their self–esteem, enticing them to challenge their boundaries and slowly increase their conversations to sexual topics. They often share pornographic material and may even send things to the child’s home.

Violence/Abuse

Anything can be found online, including violent images, images of corpses, physical abuse, war scenes, executions, animal cruelty, criminal or gang activity and rape. It is unfortunate that people want to share these types of images with the world, but they are out there, and it is a dangerous avenue for your children to explore.

Harassment

Sometimes kids are harassed or intimidated online from people they know or through online games. These types of game bullies are often called griefers.

Extremist Pages

As mentioned, everything is online, including extremist and hate based groups. This includes groups that target gender, minorities, sexual preference, religious or cultural groups and so on. These sites often encourage hate, violence or harassment and may contain derogatory references, cartoon depictions, violent images or harsh language often not filtered out by filtering software.

Computer Viruses, Adware, Spyware

These are harmful to your computer and can be delivered unknowingly through emails, pop–up ads, screen savers or other downloads. If kids are not taught to be Internet savvy, they may download a fun, harmless looking game that sneaks in malicious content to your hard drive. These tiny programs may relate your personal information, monitor how you use the Internet or actually cause damage to your system.

Identity Theft

Kid’s identity can be stolen and used. Additionally, if your hard drive is accessed, your information can be stolen, shared and used.

Distraction

Beyond all the real dangers of the Internet, there is simply a distraction. Often kids use the computer with the pretense of doing homework when in reality they are doing their homework, having multiple chat conversations, surfing the net, playing a game, and listening to and downloading music all at the same time. You can easily see why it is hard to get kids to finish their homework and actually learn something when they are dividing their time and attention by so many different things.

PARENT GUIDELINES

Open communication is extremely important. The real dangers of the Internet need to be discussed and your child’s possible frustration and resistance to these conversations may need to be addressed as well. Open dialogue is necessary and despite your fear or aggravation, your desire to express your anger should not extend to the point that your child is afraid to talk to you if something does happen.

Setting Boundaries

You and your children, after discussing the dangers and benefits of the Internet, should set some clear boundaries. Keep in mind that boundaries may differ depending on the age of the child, their level of maturity and their willingness to communicate uncomfortable subjects with you. If your child is unenthusiastic about having open conversations with you, they are certainly less likely to talk you if something happens to them online.

Beyond family or individual rules, there are some general guidelines for all Internet users:

Never give out personal information, including name, address, school or employment, telephone or cell number, personal email address or pictures to someone you do not know personally.

Never respond to solicitations or comments that make you uncomfortable.

Never make arrangements to meet someone you have met online. Adults who want to meet people they have met online should arrange to meet in a public place and with current friends.

Never believe everything you read in a profile, on a message board or in a chat. Often, people pretend or role–play, either for entertainment, to hide or for other ulterior motives.

Never submit your personal information or credit card data to an unsecured site.

Outside of the general guidelines, there are other things to consider for your children, such as:

How long, when and under what circumstances can your children use the Internet?

What sites are they allowed to visit?

What content is off limits?

What kind of communication is allowed, e–mail, chat, IM, etc?

What are your kid’s privacy rights?

What should your child do if they experience something that makes them uncomfortable?

What happens if the rules are violated?

After you have established some well–understood guidelines, you should still monitor your kid’s Internet activity. Although it is normal for kids to get into a little mischief, such as chatting with their friends when they are supposed to be doing homework, they could also be getting into real trouble. Here are a few warning signs that your kid could be getting into a real dilemma:

Excessive Internet use

You find pornography or explicit material on their computer

Your child receives mysterious phone calls, emails or text messages

Your child receives mail or gifts from someone you don’t know

They are withdrawn, anti–social or avoid talking with you

Your kid quickly changes the screen when you come in the room

You child uses an Internet account that is not their own

They cannot or will not tell you about their online acquaintances

They cut school to get online or sneak on in the middle of the night

Keep in mind, that even if your kid is a willing participant in an exploitive situation, they are still a minor and the victim in the situation. Teens have been known to post provocative images of themselves or initiate explicit conversations, so it is important to keep conversations open and watch for self–esteem, anger or behavioral issues that could be expressed in dangerous ways.

What if exploitation or a child pornography situation occurs?

Unfortunately, odds are your child and even you will be approached online. However, if your kids know how to deal with these situations, it should not escalate into anything. In terms of the law, the following things should be reported:

your child has been sexually solicited by someone who knows that the child is under the age of 18

your child has received sexually explicit images from someone who knows the child is under the age of 18

your child or anyone in the household has received child pornography